A Year With God, Day 74 of 366

Near my home, there is a pretty busy intersection.  One road is divided, with two lanes on one side, and four lanes on the other side--two going straight and two turn lanes.  In the middle is a special lane just for the city bus route. The other road has a total of three lanes.

It's difficult to describe, but the turn lanes can be confusing with the separated road.  So they're marked out with white lines painted on the pavement.  But when going straight on one road, the lines marking the left turns on the other road cross each other, so it looks like the outside lane disappears.  I don't quite know how to put it into words, but it's an optical illusion, and it can lead drivers astray.  I was almost hit by another car because of it.

It struck me, though, that God's word is never like that.  There are some things that I don't understand, but the Bible is pretty straightforward.  God does not deliberately try to lead us into trouble.  Love God, and Love each other.  That's what it all boils down to.

A Year With God, Day 73 of 366

So, what has today shown me?

Expect the unexpected. 

Life is full of twists and turns, and I never know what's going to happen when I get up in the morning.  Lately, it seems more bad surprises than good, but not all.

My work shift today was cancelled.  But on the other hand, this gives my hand more time to heal.  And I got a letter yesterday notifying me that I won a gift card to a local store.

I also learned there's little to make me feel better than coming home to a happy greeting from my pets and my husband.

And I appreciate the nice soft bed I have to sleep in, and the coffee that I drink in the morning, and a hundred other little things in life.

Thank you Lord for all of that.

A Year With God, Day 72 of 366

I am tired.  Today was a long day with 12 hours at work.  I can hardly keep my eyes open, and yet I feel good.

People were meant to work, not just sit around doing nothing. 

I know I will sleep well tonight.

That's pretty much all I have to say for now.

A Year With God, Day 71 of 366

Today, my pastor mentioned Ephesians 2:8:  "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--"

And he said that when it says 'this not from yourselves' it refers to faith.  I had always thought it meant that being saved was the gift of God.

But the pastor said that all we have to do to be saved is have faith, and that even faith comes from God.  It's a different perspective on that verse, and somehow, it was just what I needed to hear today.

He also said that when it comes to a relationship with God, our part is to obey, and God's part is to provide us with everything we need for that loving relatinship.

So, it's kind of an answer to the question I asked yesterday.  And what a releif to put it all in God's hands.  Right now I don't feel like I handle much of anything, so it's nice to think that God will take care of it all for me.

A Year With God, Day 70 of 366

So . . where is the line between trusting God, and putting one's head in the sand?

Where is the line between beng content with what one has, and living up to one's potential?  Or the line between being confident enough to have high goals, and being greedy?

Where is the line between standing up for one's self, and starting to abuse others?

I don't know the answer to these questions, or not fully anyway.  I suppose the start to the first question is to pray and actively seek the opportunities that God provides.

The second question is harder.  I am not sure how good I am at anything, and others tell me I am capable of much more, and I'm not sure I really am.  I don't think that I am greedy, but I want more than I have.  I suppose for this I need to just decide what I want to do, and actively pursue it, with prayer, of course.

The last question is maybe the hardest.  I am not good at standing up for myself.  I am more likely to retreat than attack.  I am trying to be more assertive, but sometimes I go too far.  Maybe because I have to be angry before I say anything.  And I tend to not be able to put my emotions into words, even afterwards, when I'm calm again.  I guess I need to define how I feel, and go from there.  I need to learn to admit my emotions after I define them.

Which is a scary thing to contemplate.  It's true. Admitting my emotions out loud terrifies me.  I wonder why that is?

A Year With God, Day 69 of 366

Tonight as I was preparing for bed, it occured to me that prayer should be like brushing my teeth.  It's something I should do every day--at least once--to prevent decay.

Think of all the preventative things we do . . . we brush our teeth, we take our cars in for regularly scheduled oil changes.  We visit our doctors for a yearly check up (okay, some of us do).  We take vitamins, we excercise.

We do all these things in the hope of living a longer happier life, or to drive our car for longer.

Shouldn't we put the same effort into maintaining our spiritual life, as well?  Reading the Bible, Prayer, attending church services . . . all these things will help us live longer happier spiritual lives.

Don't our souls deserve the same care we offer our bodies?

A Year With God, Day 68 of 366

Sometimes, the people who love us get angry with us.  And they get the angriest when we do something that hurts ourselves.

Today, I cut my hand, and waited until my husband got off work to go to the doctor.  He was angry with me, partly  because I did something stupid and cut myself, but even more because I waited, when it could have made my injury worse, because he didn't want to be without me.

It makes me wonder how God feels, looking down at me.  He sees every stupid self-destructive thing I do, even the ones my husband knows nothing about. 

So tonight, I'm praying that God will keep me from stupid accidents, and from other more harmful things I tend to do.  For my sake, and my husband's sake, because he likes having me around.