A Year With God, Day 67 of 366

2 Timothy 1:7

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

It occurred to me today that I spend a lot of time feeling afraid.  I fear financial loss.  I fear failure.  I fear that I will disappoint and disgust my loved ones.  Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't really know why.

But as I thought this, a fragment of 2 Timothy 1:7 came into my head, 'For I did not give you a spirit of fear .. . . '  So I look up the verse. 

God has given me a spirit of power.  That means that I can overcome my fears, with God's help.  God has given me a spirit of love-- God's love, and my love for Him, and those around me.  What better motivation to overcome fear than love?  And finally, God gives me a spirit of self-discipline, which is what it takes to keep trying, even when I 'know' I won't succeed. 

Self-discipline to write this blog, even when I am tired and can't think of a good topic, and I just don't feel like it. 

Self-discipline to tell myself that I can and will succeed, and to make myself believe it.

There is power in words.  If I look myself in the mirror, and say, 'Susan, you can do this!' then I start to feel like I can do it.  And if I write out a list of things to do, that gives me tangible goals to work toward.

I have spent a lot of time being afraid.  I don't want to feel afraid any more.  I want to feel power and love and self-discipline.

And I will, because I choose to do so.

A Year With God, Day 66 of 366

And so today, I find myself once again in the midst of uncertainty.  I deeply dislike uncertainty.  I like schedules and routines, and I tend to be complacent.

Being uncertain about things in my life causes me to worry and stew, and yet here I am again.  Yet somehow, I think I wouldn't mind so much if it were only my life being affected, but I am married.  I have a family now-- a small family, but still, I worry twice as much about how these things will affect my husband.

And so I will make a plan, and follow it.  I will not procrastinate, as I am sometimes in the habit of doing.

And I will pray and I will trust God to provide for me and my small family.  Or I will do my best to do so.  After all, I am only human.

A Year With God, Day 65 of 366

Psalm 150:6

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

What struck me about this verse is that it repeats, 'Praise the Lord.'.  I wonder, do I spend enough time praising the Lord?

I should praise God every morning that I wake up, and the sun is shining, or rain is falling.  I should praise God every time my husband comes home from work, because he is working, and he is coming home to me.

I should praise the Lord for pets who snuggle up next to me when I am home alone.  I should praise God for the food in my fridge and the clean clothes in my closet, and the soap and shampoo on the shelf in my shower.

I think I do appreciate the small things I have in my life, but tonight I feel like I need to do more praising.

Praise the Lord.  Praise the Lord.

A Year With God, Day 64 of 366

Today, during church, I looked down at my hand and saw a mark on the palm of my right hand. 

About ten years ago, I sharpened a pencil to a very sharp point.  I was admiring how perfect the point was on that pencil and it flipped out of my fingers, and landed point-down in my palm.  I pulled the pencil out, but the lead broke off in my skin.  I dug it out, but I still have a very small blue-ish grey mark where the pencil landed.

It made me think today about how people will know about my faith.  It's not as easy as getting a tattoo or growing my hair long like the Levites used to do.  (I think it was the Levites).  A physical reminder might be a very good thing to help me remember what I need to be doing.  But unless I back it up with my actions, the physical sign is useless.  Like a WWJD bumper sticker on the back of a speeding car diving in and out of traffic and almost causing an accident.

So, what's inside is what's important, not what's visible to the casual observer.

Interestingly enough though, the pencil incident occured at my church.  Something for me to ponder, I suppose.

A Year With God, Day 63 of 366

I was standing over the stove, cooking up some meat to make a late-night dinner tonight, and I suddenly thought of the story in John 21.  Jesus was crucified, and has risen, and some of the disciples go out fishing, because they don't know what else to do.  When they come back to shore, Jesus is waiting with a fire burning, and fish cooking.

And I thought to myself that my relationship with God should be like my relationship with food.  I know I have to eat in order to stay alive.  But I don't sit down to a steak dinner and think, 'Oh, man I have to eat this.'  No, I eat because I enjoy it.

That's how we should feel about spending time with God.  It's something to savor like a good meal.  It should stay with us like a satisfying meal, giving us the energy to get through our day.  It should have many flavors, sweet like joy, spicy like faith, and sometimes sour  like guilt.  It should be something that we finish and think, 'Oh, that was a great meal!' and in the back of our minds, we're thinking, 'Hmm . . what should I have for dinner tomorrow night?'

Church should feel like sitting down to a meal with family--a time of contentment and fellowship, and occasionally conflict.  But we should be able to work out our differences, at least enough to enjoy the feast before us.

A Year With God, Day 62 of 366

Genesis 48:11

Israel said to Joseph, "I never expected to see your face again, and now God has allowed me to see your children, too."

It's funny sometimes how God's blessings work.  Israel never thought he'd see his son Joseph again, and not only did God reunite them, but Israel was also able to meet his two grandsons, as well.

Sometimes, when I ask for blessings, I ask for small things.  But God is able to do everything I could dream of, and muchmore than I could expect.

I just don't feel worthy of the blessing.  I need to trust God to give me what I need, even more than I could ever think of asking for.

A Year With God, Day 61 of 366

Isaiah 33:2

O, Lord, be gracious to us:

we long for you.

Be our strength every morning,

our salvation in time of distress.

Here is another verse that doesn't really need embellishment.  I need God and his graciousness.  I need him to be my strength and my salvation in time of distress.

Thank you, Lord, for always listening to me.

Amen.