A Year With God, Day 76 of 366

The weather has been odd around here lately-- warm and sunny one day, snowing the next, and the day after that, rainy.  It put me in mind of that passage from Ecclesiastes, the one that the Beatles made a song out of. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

Without rain, plants would wither.  Without sun, those same plants would rot.  Winter gives things time to go dormand and rest.  I need to spend time working, and I need to spend time resting.  I need to spend time with my family, and I need to spend time alone.  I need to spend time with God, and I need to spend time with friends.

And each day is unique.  No two days are exactly alike, and I am glad of it.  It would be so boring if every day was the same as the last.  I get tired of drinking the same flavor of creamer in my coffee in the morning.  I'd hate to spend all my time at only one pursuit.

I think perhaps my life is out of balance.  I am not spending enough time doing certain things I want to do, and because of that I put off doing other things that I have to do, because I resent not spending the time on what I want to do.  For example, I honestly want to spend more time writing.  But other things keep distracting me, so I haven't been putting the time into it.  And then I resent having to cook dinner and vacuum and do laundry, because I feel like I have to do them, and I resent that feeling. 

But I have long known that I dislike doing anything that feels like a 'have to' duty, even things I enjoy most times.  I try to schedule the things I want to do, but I don't like feeling like all my time is regulated.

Not exactly logical, but there it is.  So I guess the solution is to schedule my time so I use it wisely, but allow time for just . . . whatever.