A Year With God, Day 13 of 366

I think about what I want to write in this blog throughout the day.  I often think of a great idea first thing in the morning, ponder and consider it through the early afternoon, and by supper time, I can't remember what the idea was any more.

I suppose this means I need to start writing my blog post earlier in the day, to counter act my own procrastination.

I was thinking about free will tonight.  There is a series of romance novels written by Sherrilyn Kenyon which feature a god from the lost land of Atlantis.  There is a group of people who work for him, and he tries to help them find true love, among other things.  Sometimes he laments the necessity of free will.  It would be so much easier if he could make people do what he knows will make them happy.  But unfortunately, the choice must come from each person's decision.  He can't, or perhaps chooses not to influence someone's free will.

I find that  an interesting perspective on how God works.  People like to  lament the bad things in their lives, and say, 'Why is this happening to me?  Why did God let this happen to me?' 

I think we forget that sometimes (and it is only sometimes) what happens in our lives comes as a direct result of choices we make.  Choosing to drop out of high school, for example, will probably make it harder to find a good job, causing me to lose financial security and bringing all kinds of stress into my life.  There may be many circumstances that influenced my decision to drop out, but ultimately, it was my decision to make.

(That is purely hypothetical.  I did finish high school, and college, too, actually.)

It is depressing to think that we bring trouble on ourselves by making bad decisions.  It's easier to blame God for everything that goes wrong. 

But at the same time, it's empowering to claim your own decisions.  I think back on some of the less-than-wise choices I made, and I tell myself, 'That was not the best thing I could have done, but it was my choice, so I will deal with the consequences and work to change what I don't like.'

I learned about self esteem at the Christian Women's Job Corps in San Angelo, Texas.  And one of the things I learned was that when we take responsibility, we also take control over our lives and that gives us power.

I try to live my life according to God's laws, not because I'm afraid of going to hell, or because I blindly follow what my parents or pastor or husband tells me do, but because I choose to believe that's the right way to live.  And experience is showing me that I am happier and better off as a result, so it is indeed the right way for me to live.