A Year With God, Day 60 of 366

So, today is day 60 of my bogging experience.  This ought to have some kind of dramatic ceremony with hats and those little blow-out party things that make the tweet noise.

But I have nothing like that.  I didn't even really have an idea for tonight's blog.  So I'll wing it, and worry about being profound and intelligent another day.

Life it about choices, and promises and disappointments.

Tonight I was invited to dinner with my mother and sister.  I was excited to go, since I haven't seen them in a while, and my husband was working, so I could go and just spend time without worrying if he was having a good time.  But I promised to visit him when he took his lunch.

Well, the restaurant was busy, and it took a long time to seat us, and the next thing I knew, it was time to leave to meet my husband.  And while we'd had our soup and salad, the entree had not arrived yet.  I knew we were running late, but I thought I'd have time to get the entree (fried fish and shrimp and clam strips) put in a to-go box.  But it didn't happen, so I left without it. 

I hurred to meet my husband and enjoyed spending his lunch break with him.  I felt that I made the right decision, but I found myself bitterly disappointed that I didn't get to eat my fish.  It seems like such a petty thing, but I had so looked forward to that meal . . .

And now I think about Jesus praying before he was arrested and nailed to the cross.  He prayed asking God to find another way to save mankind from sin.

And somehow, I think he might have felt rather like I did about the fish dinner, odd as that might sound.  He knew what he had to do was important, but he really didn't want to go through with it.

But in the end, Jesus gracefully acceded to God's plan.  "Not my will, but yours be done."

Which is a great deal better than my pouting over my missed dinner.  So Jesus is definitely the better person.

Is it wrong to compare the two?  Maybe, because there really is no comparison.  Nothing in human experience will ever come close to what Jesus went through.

But somehow, that feeling of really wanting something I couldn't have just clicked in my brain.  If I could multiply that feeling time ten thousand, maybe that would be close to what Jesus felt. 

And if I'd called my husband to say I couldn't make lunch, I could have had my dinner.  Just as Jesus could have said, "I changed my mind, Father!" and gotten out of death on the cross.

As difficult as it was to walk out of the restaurant, I'm glad I got to spend those thirty minutes with my husband.  And I pray that Jesus feels the same about dying to gain me forgiveness for my sins.